Do you visit a gentlemen's club for the hot wings? Are you there to watch the ball game? Are you more interested in smoking hookah than eyeing a beautiful young tiger? It's time to sound the alarm and go over the basics. Every visitor to needs to understand the premise of this motivational theory.
Based on the hedonistic desire to experience all five senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste), everything flows and revolves around the Patron's Hierarchy of Needs (see Fig. 1).
The three levels enable the patron to utilize those five senses to their maximum and at the very top of the pyramid is the coveted lap dance. In a traditional sense, the hierarchy is best explained through the following chronological steps.
SIGHT AND HEARING
1. The pyramid begins with the patron’s basic physiological need to observe the female body in motion, wearing a sexy outfit, and dancing erotically to the sounds of music (Stage Dance).
SIGHT, HEARING, AND SMELL
2. Once a patron is visually stimulated and has identified a target, the natural instinct is to request a closer, more intimate look, allowing the patron to hear her soothing voice and smell her seductive scent (Table Dance).
SIGHT, HEARING, SMELL, TOUCH, AND THE FANTASY OF TASTE
3. Finally, the patron and the target escape to a dark corner and enjoy a lively encounter that satisfies all five senses. The patron is close enough to see her goose bumps, and hear every explicit whisper underneath the backdrop of a sensual song. At the same time, caressing her skin and fantasizing about tasting her forbidden fruit (Lap Dance).
Here's a snippet of The 21 Laws of Surviving a Gentlemen's Club Audiobook Experience coming in June.
Bold, raw, forbidden, The 21 Laws of Surviving a Gentlemen's Club is a wake-up call for all patrons. You don't have to be a strip club aficionado to recognize that the behavior of the average patron is evolving before your eyes----rampant narcissism, lack of focus, and no agenda all spell danger.
Darius Allen, author and survivor, confronts this culture of misguided patrons with 21 laws that focus on priority and purpose. He reminds patrons that a gentlemen's club is one of the most voracious, capitalistic environments on Earth. Those who enter this jungle clueless and slaphappy, believing that they can escape unscathed, are sadly mistaken.
Much of The 21 Laws of Surviving a Gentlemen's Club deals with the interaction--physical and otherwise--between a patron and a stripper, but Darius also examines the inner working of a social environment that wants to swallow up your money and spit you out.
This book will serve as a fiery pep talk before a planned trip, a conversation starter for the bold, and a syllabus for all rookies who want to enter the jungle and avoid the infamous Walk of Shame.
The Language of the Jungle
AIR DANCE: A non-contact lap dance where there is so much air between you and the stripper that you feel deflated and utterly exploited. Unlike a table dance or a stage dance where no contact is customary, an Air Dance is usually unexpected and unsettling. It is the absolute worst dance a patron can receive.
AIR DANCE RIPPLE EFFECT: A situation where after a patron receives an unexpected Air Dance, the event causes the patron to buy a lap dance immediately from another stripper in hopes of replacing the void left by air. If the patron does not choose the right stripper, things can spiral out of control.
ATF: All-Time Favorite (See Favorite). The ATF is a term only reserved for a stripper who has reached the level of a jungle goddess.
BAIT AND SWITCH: The ploy of using a stack of cash (brick) as bait to attract strippers to a table, giving them the illusion of a big payday, then switching up and only spending a small amount of cash.
BIRD DOG: A bouncer whose unpopular job is to monitor the activity in the VIP area. This bouncer is on the hunt for savage patrons.
BLIND LAP: When a patron blindly rolls the dice and chooses a lap dance from a stripper whom they’ve never seen twerk, booty-shake, perform on stage, or give a lap dance.
CIVILIAN: The average woman who does not work in the jungle and likes to visit for so-called fun. Her only agenda is to secretly observe the behavior of male patrons.
THE ETERNAL PATRON DILEMMA: The tricky dilemma that a patron faces when trying to choose the right stripper for a lap dance that’s worth the price. This challenge is the most crucial and monetarily volatile decision in the jungle.
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY: Use your imagination.
FAVORITE: 1. A patron’s favorite stripper. Although a patron may claim to have several, only one will receive the majority of the patron’s resources (time and money). 2. A Favorite is one of the two halves of the lustful union that makes up the core foundation of the strip club industry. The powerful yin and yang relationship between a Favorite and a Regular provides the energy flow that supports the entire strip club ecosystem.
GFE: Girlfriend Experience. Not to be confused with the full-fledged definition used in the world of high-end escorts and call-girls. In the jungle, this term describes an intimate connection between a patron and a stripper that goes beyond the typical business interaction. A Favorite usually offers a Girlfriend Experience to a Regular; long talks, neck massages, therapy sessions, warm hugs, an open ear, and a genuine concern for their well-being without the daily struggles of a girlfriend & boyfriend relationship.
GREEN CARPET TREATMENT: After a patron makes it rain, the floor or main stage becomes covered in cash, creating the appearance of a newly placed green carpet.
GREEN MILE: The long walk that a patron makes with a stripper to a VIP room.
HOME CLUB: A stripper’s favorite jungle to hunt; a primary residence for a stripper who prefers not to leap from jungle to jungle like a leopard.
JANE: A stripper; as in Jane of the Jungle.
JILL: A waitress; the little sister of Jane of the Jungle.
JUNGLE: The appropriate name for a strip club. It represents the exploitative, capitalistic, and predatory nature of the strip club environment.
THE JUNGLE OF ALL JUNGLES: Las Vegas.
LAP DANCE: An erotic, intimate, one-on-one dance in which a stripper sits, caresses, grazes, or grinds a patron’s lap for the duration of one song. Additional touching from both parties may take place based on the stripper, the shift, and the jungle. Tipping is optional.
LEOPARD: A nomadic stripper that’s hard to capture because she is not tied down to a home club. She is always on the run, leaping from jungle to jungle, chasing the money.
MAKING IT DRIZZLE: An economical approach to tipping where a patron selects a primary stripper and tips her in steady increments, building up stripper equity. Just like a watering can, the patron lets the light rain trickle down, dollar by dollar. This approach is a clear alternative to making it rain.
MAKING IT RAIN: An extravagant, often gratuitous form of tipping where a patron tosses or peels off dollar bills in the air, creating the spectacle of rainfall.
MERCY TIP: A tip given to a stripper on stage purely out of sympathy because no other patron is tipping.
MILEAGE: A term that represents the amount of physical contact and extracurricular activity that a patron can get away with during a lap dance.
OUTSIDER: A person who is a staunch critic of strippers, and the strip club industry.
THE PATRON’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS: The motivational theory that everything flows and revolves around the three-level pyramid of services. The coveted lap dance is at the top of the hierarchy of needs; followed by the table dance, and lastly, the stage dance. The three levels enable the patron to utilize their five senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste) to their maximum.
POST TRAUMATIC SPRUNG DISORDER (PTSD): A mental condition triggered by experiencing a strip club event so mind-blowing that you become sprung to the highest degree. The symptoms are chronic or acute.
PREDATOR: A playful term for a stripper representing her predatory nature to prey on a patron’s money, body, and soul.
REGULAR: 1. A regular is a patron who frequents a jungle; a recognizable face that is familiar with the environment and its inhabitants. 2. Formerly considered a negative label (some consider being a Regular a pathetic loser), a Regular is one of the two halves of the lustful union that makes up the core foundation of the strip club industry. The powerful yin and yang relationship between a Favorite and a Regular provides the energy flow that supports the entire strip club ecosystem.
RINGER: An experienced stripper who purposely visits a foreign jungle for Amateur Night, especially if there is a cash prize.
ROOKIE: A young, misguided, and agenda-less patron who is naive to the ways of the jungle.
SABBATICAL: A hiatus, typically a few months, taken when a stripper gets plastic surgery.
SIMPLETON: A foolish patron that lacks the common sense and awareness to understand that one’s survival is at stake. This patron thinks everything is fun and games, and being economical is silly.
SPECTATOR: A patron who simply watches all the activity in the jungle with no plans of getting their hands dirty or spending money.
STRIP CLUB INFORMANT: A patron whose agenda is to collect information for the purpose of spreading gossip and creating strip club drama.
STRIPPER EQUITY: The amount of interest (time and money) invested into a stripper with the expectation of return.
STRIPPER GAMESMANSHIP: The mental and physical chess game that strippers play on patrons by using seductive ploys and tactics to gain any advantage they can when it comes to extracting a patron’s money. Some Regulars call this “Stripper Game” or “Stripper Shit” concerning to the lies and stories that strippers tell to get patrons to fork over their cash.
SURVIVOR: A patron who thoroughly understands the 21 laws and adapts to any challenge in the jungle, regardless of the type of club and location. This patron knows the benefits of tipping, the importance of customer service, and respects the stripper’s hustle.
TIGER: An attractive stripper that is almost too good to be true. She combines beauty and hustle like no other, and the fact that this powerful feline won’t be around for long makes her the biggest catch in the jungle.
TRICKLE-DOWN ECONOMICS: The theory based on the premise that within the jungle, making it drizzle, not making it rain is the most efficient way to create stimuli and build stripper equity. By concentrating your resources on a single stripper, tipping her directly in increments (trickles) minimizes risk while providing the best return on your investment.
WALK OF SHAME: The rarely discussed, shameful, and embarrassing walk out of a jungle after being cleaned out mentally, physically, and financially. Witnessing this depressing walk can affect a patron psychologically for months.
I hooked up with Valeria Maldini, a talented photographer that is a friend and a fellow Trojan. We found a simple black wall while driving around Silver Lake. This was my first photoshoot and I was nervous as hell, but I'm pleased with the results.
On May 30, 1942, they wanted to pull off one last caper to bring their dead friend to a party! Little did they know he would bring the party to them!
Before there was the Rat Pack, there was the Bundy Drive Boys. Hollywood was their playground for dreamlike days and sleepless nights. This story is about one of Hollywood’s greatest tales. What happened to the body of John Barrymore the night following his death and what role John Decker, W.C. Fields, Gene Fowler, Errol Flynn, and a cast of Hollywood bigwigs played in it?
The Bundy Drive Boys is a dark comedy, rooted in the friendship between a group of Hollywood legends with an unquenchable passion for life, brotherhood, and debauchery, but not necessarily in that order.
Who are the Bundy Drive Boys?
Before there was the Rat Pack, there was the Bundy Drive Boys. Hollywood was their playground for dreamlike days and sleepless nights. And on May 30, 1942, they wanted to pull off one last caper to bring their dead friend to a party! Little did they know he would bring the party to them!
Book Coming March 2015
The Gordon Parks Foundation discovered unpublished photos by our cherished renaissance man Gordon Parks. The were part of a project he did for Life Magazine to document life of a black southern family during the 1950s.
Young people nowadays call it game…
Teachers call it quotes and clichés…
Everyday folk call it old school sayings…
At my young age of 80, I call it tidbits of wisdom.
They say there’s nothing new under the sun and the more things change the more they stay the same. In life, you have to be your own man and at the same time, you have to understand that no man is an island.
Did you catch those four tidbits of wisdom?
These are just a few lessons you learn on life’s bumpy road. I think it’s fair to say, we all need to know the basics. This book is a list of my 33 tidbits of wisdom. And I must say, they’ve never failed me.
Harold “Red” Allen
Who's Helping You Steer Your Ship?
Over the years, I've been fortunate to call many people a friend. A title that shouldn't be used loosely or handed out frequently. If you’re blessed enough to have a true friend, you’ll realize how foolish it is to give that title to just anyone. It’s important to know that everyone can't be your friend. You will meet some people you’re better off keeping your distance from. On the other hand, you can't plan to have friends. Just make an effort to be sociable and friendly, and before you even use the word, they will just enter your life. They will come from different places, at unexpected times, and from all walks of life.
Throughout the years, I’ve always been aware of who came into my space. When a friendship developed, I was keen on judging the quality of that friendship. Things can be smooth sailing and then at a turn, things can get rocky. That’s why the key word in friendship is the word “ship”. Do your friends keep your ship afloat or are they steering your ship into an iceberg? When a storm comes, do your friends stay aboard or do they abandon ship?
When it came to friendship, I asked myself three questions. We all know a small leak can sink the “ship” in a friendship.
“Are you laughing more than crying?”
“Are you smiling more than frowning?”
“Are you looking towards the horizon or are you watching your back?”
These questions should be easy to answer. Keep it simple — have a good time, enjoy life, survive the storms and cross the ocean.
By Mutaurwa Munemo
The term trailblazer is one often bestowed though not always deserved. Far too often we anoint someone a trailblazer in a particular field, when in reality they are just a trendsetter. A trendsetter alters the world around them stylistically. A trailblazer alters its consciousness, forever changing the intellectual perspective of those within it. Time and again they face seemingly insurmountable odds and implacable foes, yet conquer both with a calm and focus unique to a special few. Frederick Douglass “Fritz” Pollard epitomized the term at every stage of his life.
Born on January 27, 1894 as the seventh of eight children, Pollard spent his childhood in Rogers Park, Illinois, a predominantly white suburb of Chicago. His parents John William and Catherine Amanda Pollard both were unusually well educated for the day. They moved their family to Chicago from Missouri to afford their children educational opportunities generally unavailable to African-Americans at the turn of the century. “Fritz” and his siblings, in particular his elder brother Leslie took full advantage of these opportunities. The first of which was attending Lane Technical Preparatory High School, in Chicago. Illinois.
Known as “The School of Champions,” because of its acclaimed academic and athletic history, Lane Tech, afforded Pollard elite opportunities that he did not waste. Pollard was a three-sport star at Lane Tech, excelling in track, football, and baseball, while distinguishing himself in the classroom as well. After graduating from Lane Tech, Pollard earned a Rockefeller Scholarship he intended to use to follow his brother Leslie to Dartmouth College. It was during a train layover en route to Dartmouth that Pollard first visited Brown University. It was also during this time that Pollard met his first wife Aida Lang. In both cases one look was apparently all it took, and the legend of “Fritz” Pollard was born.
From 1915-1916, Pollard achieved legendary status at Brown, particularly on the “gridiron”. What must be understood is that college football occupied the position in America’s sports consciousness that professional football now holds. Baseball was still pre-Ruth and mired in rumors of gambling. Boxing was covered by a “dark cloud” named Jack Johnson. Pro football didn’t exist. College football was the sport of the day, and the Ivy League was its center. There had been other football powers like Fielding Yost’s “point a minute” Michigan teams, and the Carlisle Indian School teams led by the legendary Jim Thorpe. Despite that, the “Ivy’s”, were footballs foundation. They were it’s home, and were still the home of it’s major stars. Stars that until 1915 looked nothing like “Fritz” Pollard.
Football at that time was even more violent and chaotic than it is today. Much more “roughhousing” was tolerated during and after plays. Punches, knees, elbows, and stomps were commonplace. This allowed for Pollard to become the target of particularly vicious abuse due to his position as a halfback. During Pollard’s era the quarterback position had yet to be defined as we know it. Halfbacks were the primary handler of the ball either running or passing the ball to gain yards. Opponents made no secret of their resentment towards Pollard and used every play as an opportunity to express that antipathy. Fans were no different. Against Yale, Pollards presence on the field would engender continual choruses of the song “Bye, bye, blackbird,” every time they played. He faced the same at Princeton, and Harvard, where Pollard often had to “hide in the tunnel” until kickoff or risk a mob storming the field. In fact, the practices of “huddling around” the signal caller, and “hurrying’ to the line between plays stem from attempts by Pollard’s coaches and teammates to discourage snipe attempts.
Despite these obstacles, Pollard excelled. In 1915, he became the first African-American to start and play in a Rose Bowl. The following season Pollard led Brown to an 8-1 record including an unprecedented sweep of the nations two premier teams, Harvard and Yale. His performance during the 1916 season was so exceptional that he became the first African-American to be selected by Walter Camp for a backfield position on the All-America team. It was only the second time Camp had ever named an African-American to the team at all. It was in fact Camp who cemented Pollard’s status as a college football legend when he described him as “the most naturally gifted runner with ball that I have seen.”
Following the 1917 season Pollard left Brown in the spring of 1918 to become head football coach at Lincoln University in Pennsylvania. He held the position until 1920. With a wife and growing family Pollard supplemented his income in 1919 by joining the Akron Pros, a barnstorming team. In 1920 the Pros, joined the American Professional Football Association (APFA), later renamed the National Football League (NFL). During the 1920 season the Akron Pros went undefeated winning the league’s inaugural championship, and Pollard earned the distinction of becoming the first African-American selected to the All-NFL team. Pollard achieved this despite being one of only two African-Americans in the league. As testament to Pollard’s ability as a player and the respect he held from his team in 1921 he was named co-coach of Akron Pros. Blazing a trail as the first African-American coach in NFL history. A position not held again in the NFL until Art Shell’s hiring by the Raiders in 1989. During his tenure as coach of the Pros, Pollard also became the first African-American quarterback in league history.
The Pro Football Hall of Fame has announced its finalists for the Class of 2015 and once again, I feel strongly that one name is missing. That name is Lester Hayes. The only true Jedi to play in the NFL, also known as “The Judge”, which happens to be the best nickname ever for a cornerback. Sorry, Darrelle, Deion and Mr. Williamson. Lester Hayes was one of the greatest “shutdown” cornerbacks in NFL history. Literally, an entire side of the field was shutdown and opposing quarterbacks had to think twice before releasing the ball. He helped popularize the term “shutdown corner”. The term swag, was not coined when he played but he had more swag than he had cans of Stickum. He was a finalist for the Hall of Fame in 2004, a semifinalist in 2010, and now his case has been pushed aside, stashed in the corner, collecting dust behind a long list of candidates. Before you know it, the Seniors Committee will be reviewing the case of one of the greatest Raider players of all-time. Ladies and gentlemen, let me reintroduce to you, Lester Hayes.
Position(s): Cornerback Jersey #(s): 37
Born: January 22, 1955 (1955-01-22) (age 54)
NFL Draft: 1977 / Round: 5 / Pick: 126
College: Texas A&M
* Oakland / Los Angeles Raiders (1977–1986)
INT yards 572
Career highlights and awards:
* 5x Pro Bowl selection (1980, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984)
* 1x First-team All-Pro selection (1980)
* 5x Second-team All-Pro selection (1979, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984)
* NFL 1980s All-Decade Team
* 1980 NFL Defensive Player of the Year
* Raiders single season leader in interceptions with 13
1. He was voted to the All 80’s Decade Team, as a Second Team member. Now don’t let the Second Team status, fool you. There are Second Team members at the cornerback position in the Hall. For example, cornerback Roger Wehrli, of the Arizona Cardinals is a Second Team member of All 70’s Decade Team and he is in the Hall. Cornerback Darrel Green of the Washington Redskins, a Second Team member of the All 90’s Decade Team is in the Hall. In this case, Second Team just means the guys ahead of you, were just that “good”. Who are the two cornerbacks chosen ahead Lester for the First Team? Mel Blount and Michael Haynes. No argument there. Mel Blount, a member of the Steel Curtain was widely known for his physical play. He thoroughly dominated the opposition to the point where the NFL had no choice but to change the rules. And Michael Haynes, we will touch on his relationship with Lester in a bit. Nonetheless, if you are one of the best at your position for over the course of a decade, just being a member of the All 80’s Decade Team gives me the grounds to start the discussion.
2. He excelled after the implementation of “The Mel Blount Rule” that was used to enhance the passing game and handicap the cornerbacks. In the late 70’s, the NFL made it illegal to harass the wide receiver five yards past the line of scrimmage. Overnight, mediocre quarterbacks became legends and the passing attack was born. Somehow Lester still managed to earn the nickname “The Judge” during his career, which spanned from 1977- 1986. When he entered training camp in 1977 as a rookie, he had to adjust to a new style of man-man coverage while playing the cornerback position for the first time. That’s right, Lester was making the transition from a linebacker and an All-American safety at Texas A&M, to being lined up against the best wide receivers in the game. He learned the bump and run technique from Hall of Famer, Willie Brown. He learned the “Riddell technique” from Pat Thomas, a technique that made sure you planted the Riddell logo on your helmet into the numbers of the wide receiver. It’s tough for a wide receiver to slap a helmet away when it’s stuck in their chest. Then he faced Hall of Famer, Fred Biletnikoff in practice every day, learning how to apply this technique against a quick and crafty wide receiver. A true Jedi adapts and becomes one with the “Force”. In just 3 years, Lester was a Jedi Master at the cornerback position.
3. In 1980, he had the greatest year ever for a cornerback. He earned NFL Defensive Player of the Year, First-team All-Pro selection, a Pro Bowl Selection and a Super Bowl ring. He had 13 interceptions, 273 total interception yards, 2 fumble recoveries, and a touchdown. He was one interception short of Night Train Lane’s all time record, but he did set a Raiders single season record in interceptions. Another sign of his dominance, he had 4 interceptions called back because of penalties. No problem, he proceeded to add 5 more interceptions in the post season and one, he returned for a touchdown. It didn’t stop there. In the Pro Bowl, he was tested 11 times and only gave up one reception, for 15 yards. And he recorded one more key statistic. Yes, you guessed right. He had one interception in the Pro Bowl. That’s 19 interceptions. If you really think Stickum helped Lester position himself to be in the right place, at the right time, then you are simply, a hater.
4. Speaking of Stickum, let’s deal with this once and for all. Not only was it legal at the time, it was used by several position players. Stickum did not prevent Fred Biletnikoff from being inducted into the Hall. Tell me, who has an advantage with Stickum, the wide receiver who knows where the ball should be headed or the cornerback? Exactly. It is understandable that Lester’s infamous use and the amount of Stickum he plastered all over his uniform reached epic proportions. Also wearing the Silver & Black of Al Davis’s Raiders, doesn’t help his reputation as being a stickler to the rules but too much focus has been put on his sticky hands. What about the psychological impact that Lester had on wide receivers that lined up against him? Any mental advantage that you create from the cornerback position shows a high football IQ. He shook wide receivers confidence and broke their concentration just by his intimidating stance, the Stickum dripping from his claws and his linebackers approach to handling speedsters. Stickum was banned in 1981, and to many Lester lost his ability to summon the “Force”. Even Lester was quoted as saying, “I became a mere mortal.” People don’t realize that was just a clever Jedi mind trick. He went to the Pro Bowl in 1981, 1982, 1983 and 1984. He was selected Second-team All Pro in 1981, 1982, 1983 and 1984. Ask Art Monk and Charlie Brown what was it like to face a “mere mortal” in Super Bowl XVIII, 1984?
5. He always came up big in the playoffs. In his career, he was on the Raiders roster during 13 playoff games and 2 Super Bowls. He was a starting cornerback in 6 playoff games and 2 Super Bowls. As a starter, that’s when he left his mark on the biggest stages. He had 8 interceptions and 2 touchdowns as the starter on his own island when it counted the most. For instance, Hall of Famers such as Deion Sanders played in 11 playoff games with 5 interceptions and zero touchdowns. Hall of Famer Ronnie Lott has played 7 playoff games with 9 interceptions and 2 touchdowns. These statistics below should speak volumes about his playoff performances and his ability to get that game-changing turnover:
1980 – 12/28 – Week 17 – AFC Wildcard Playoff vs. Houston Oilers
2 interceptions, 1 touchdown on a 20-yard interception return.
1980 – 1/04 – Week 18 – AFC Divisional Playoff vs. Cleveland Browns
1980 – 1/11 – Week 19 – AFC Conference Playoff vs. San Diego Chargers
1982 – 1/15 – Week 11– AFC Divisional Playoff vs. New York Jets
1983 – 1/01 – Week 18 – AFC Divisional Playoff vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
1 interception, 1 touchdown on an 18-yard interception return.
1983 – 1/08 – Week 19 – AFC Conference Playoff vs. Seattle Seahawks
In Super Bowl XV, Hayes didn’t intercept a pass but he limited his man to just two receptions in the Raiders 27-10 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles. We will discuss Super Bowl XVIII in a bit. Which leads us to my next point…….
6. Lester Hayes was a champion. He has two Super Bowl rings, victories in Super Bowl XV and Super Bowl XVIII. Lester was a problem to both opposing teams. Offensive coordinators had to be concerned with his side of the field. On a side note, he did not get any credit for his Super Bowl XV prediction. I guess the issue is that he declared it during warm ups, minutes before the game. Sitting in his Jedi stance, Lester clearly states, “Super Sunday, what a day, I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it, it’s like a dream come true. It’s unbelievable, yes, and we’re gonna win, we are gonna win. No question.” He didn’t stutter one word when he delivered that prediction. When it comes to Super Bowl predictions, we all know the quarterback’s voice is the only one heard.
7. Speaking of Super Bowl XVIII, the tandem of Lester Hayes and Michael Haynes had one of the best cornerback performances ever. Offensive heroics always get the spotlight but what they did was downright criminal. It is easy to forget how prolific the Washington Redskins offense was in 1983. They scored an NFL record 541 points, averaging a league leading 33.8 points per game. Joe Theisman was the league’s MVP throwing for 3,714 yards and 29 touchdowns. Wide receiver, Charlie Brown went to the Pro Bowl catching 78 passes for 1,225 yards and 8 touchdowns. Future Hall of Famer, Art Monk caught 47 passes for 746 yards and 5 touchdowns. Add in John Riggins who rushed for 1,347 yards and 24 touchdowns behind “The Hoggs”and you have a deadly offensive attack.
For starters, Art Monk only caught 1 pass for 26 yards and that happened in the 4th quarter. Charlie Brown caught 3 passes for 93 yards. That sounds good right? Well, his first catch was in the 3rd quarter. So for the first half, they did not catch a single pass. Need I say more? No. Let’s hear from the Redskins general manager Bobby Beathard, I’m pretty sure he had a lot to say after their 38-9 loss.
In the “Ultimate Super Bowl Book” written by Bob McGinn, Bobby Beathard delivered the truth. “Hayes and Haynes were the difference in the game. Haynes was still a Patriot during the teams’ regular season matchup, and his addition gave the Raiders two shutdown corners.” According to Beathard, “Hayes and Haynes changed our whole game plan.” Hayes had only one tackle, but had the left side of the field covered so effectively that Theismann hardly bothered to throw there.”
8. The NFL Network, the modern day authorities on the history of the NFL past and present, chose Lester Hayes and Michael Haynes as the best cornerback tandem ever. That’s ever! In the entire history of the game and all the great cornerback tandems to ever play, Lester and Michael were number #1. That means Lester, who was on the opposite side of Hall of Famer, Michael Haynes, could not be and was not, a weak link. If he was perceived as the lesser cornerback, he would have been targeted every single game. And there would be no way they would have been chosen as the top duo. Which brings us back to the previous point about Lester being a Second Team member on the All 80’s Decade Team. If it weren’t for the legendary, game changing Mel Blount, Lester Hayes and Michael Haynes as a tandem, would both be First Team members. This makes sense, given they are the best cornerback tandem ever. Give Lester his Gold jacket.
9. In a Sports Illustrated article, written by Paul Zimmerman, Raiders linebackers coach, Charlie Sumner, was quoted saying, “Lester plays 85% of the time in man coverage without help.” “We’ll play some man on the other side, but not as much. We can use combinations or roll a zone that way, too, while we’re keeping Lester alone.”
Charlie Sumner coached the Defensive backs in 1979, and the Linebackers from 1980–1983. Now many can debate, that a good pass rush and an aggressive blitz package, can mask the skills of a bump and run cornerback. After ten yards, a cornerback is screaming for help over the top and hoping a safety can prevent a big play. But this quote, from Charlie Sumner, provides proof that with Lester, a shutdown cornerback, the Raiders were able to take more risk with their blitzing schemes. That means the likes of Ted Hendricks, Rod Martin and Matt Millen all benefited. Funny, the NFL Network chose them as the 8th Best Linebacking Corps of all time.
10. Lester Hayes is ranked #83 in career interceptions with 39 interceptions. That number is not too high but it’s not too low. It all determines on how you value the number of interceptions in a players career. For example, Ken Riley who played for the Cincinnati Bengals is ranked #5 in interceptions with 65. He is not in the Hall. The great Arizona Cardinal, Roger Wehrli, is in the Hall with 40 interceptions. Michael Haynes is in the Hall with 46 interceptions, a number that some could say is low compared to the overall leaders. Although I could easily take the stance, that Lester and Michael Haynes career interceptions are a direct result of a quarterback’s reluctance to test to their sides, I’d rather focus on another angle involving interceptions. In 1980, it was no-brainer that Lester was selected to the Pro Bowl with 13 regular season interceptions. It gets interesting when you examine his interception numbers when he was selected to the Pro Bowl in 1981, 1982, 1983 and 1984. Those numbers are 3, 2, 2, and 1. Lester was still considered the best in his position even with those low numbers. That tells me, that the level of respect that Lester earned and was given was off the charts. His impact was not always narrowed down to a number.